


Dark Side

by Anonymous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Comfort/Angst, Dark Steve Rogers, Dubcon Cuddling, Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Evil Steve Rogers, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra Cap, Hydra Steve Rogers, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Partner Betrayal, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Steve Rogers, Threats of Violence, Tumblr Prompt, to be continued by popular demand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Prompt 25: “I want an answer, goddammit!”Bucky uncovers the secret that Steve has been working for Hydra ever since he was uncovered from the ice. But as much as he hates Steve he still loves him more than anything in the world.





	1. Truth

Bucky’s back hits the wall, his chest is heaving, and his hands are shaking violently. 

He’s got  _nowhere_ to go. He’s got nowhere to  _hide_. He’s  _trapped_. 

Steve’s face looks hurt, like a puppy who’s been scolded, but he shouldn’t be acting like this. He’s not the one who should be hurting right now. 

“Buck, please listen to me,” Steve says, taking another step closer to him. 

Bucky just shakes his head, wanting nothing more than for Steve to leave him alone. 

“Get away from me.” He can only manage to whine with his heart hammering in his head, blurring his vision and deafening his other senses around him. 

“Bucky, please, you don’t under–”

“What don’t I understand Steve!?” Bucky screams. “You switched sides! You–you’re a traitor…” His voice trails off and he stares his best friend–his husband–up and down, trying to look for some physical evidence to hint to his change in idealizations. 

But he sees nothing. Steve still looks like Steve. A 6′2 beautiful, blonde-haired blue-eyed man composed of strength and bravery with a smile that could steal any heart. He even still looks like Captain  _America_. But he’s not Captain America anymore. Apparently, he hasn’t been that man for almost six years. 

“Things are so much better now,” Steve tells him in a calm tone. “It’s not what it was before.” 

Steve steps up into Bucky’s personal space, pressing himself against Bucky’s body and running a gloved finger over Bucky’s jawline before gripping his chin firmly between his fingers, as a failed attempt at trying to comfort Bucky. 

Bucky shudders under Steve’s touch and feels his stomach flip over. He swallows hard and adverts his eyes away from Steve’s cold gaze, he can’t look at him in the eyes anymore. Not after what he’s done. 

“Bucky, baby, look at me, please. I can’t stand you being upset with me.”

Bucky feels a flash of anger suddenly overcome him and he slaps Steve’s hand away from him, pushes him off his body, and takes a step away from the wall he essentially cornered himself in earlier. 

“You joined Hydra!” Bucky snaps. “You went against Shield, against the Avengers, your friends, and you joined Hydra!” 

“Hydra’s different now Bucky, it’s trying to help people, not hurt them.” 

“How can you say that after what they did to me?” 

“Bucky, I didn’t know you were the Winter Soldier, and if I had I would have killed Pierce myself to keep him from hurting you any longer.”

“Somehow I don’t believe you’d do that for me.”

“Of course I would Buck, I love you.” 

Steve’s proclamation of love stabs him in the gut, rips his intestines out of his body, and leaves him laying in a growing pool of his own blood on the hard tile floor. 

“Then tell me why you did it.” Bucky forces himself to say. “Why did you go against everything you know and everyone you love to join an organization hell-bent on world domination?” 

Steve doesn’t say anything, but his gaze hardens. 

Steve’s silence pisses off Bucky almost as much as learning that his husband is a Hydra agent. 

“I want an answer, goddammit!” He shouts, tears starting to spill from fearful eyes. 

Steve’s composure stiffens and he lets out a low growl from the back of his throat. 

“You really don’t want to know that answer Bucky, trust me.” 

“How can I trust you now that I know what you really are?” A tiny sob escapes from his lips and Steve’s eyes soften as he steps closer, effectively killing the distance between them by pulling Bucky into a hug. 

Bucky cries into Steve’s chest, fingers gripping the material of his shirt sleeves, unable to catch his breath in between sobs, and Steve runs his fingers through his hair, reassuring him that everything is going to be okay. 

Bucky’s disgusted in himself for taking comfort in the man who’s the cause behind this pain, but he doesn’t know who else to turn to right now. 

Steve tells Bucky that if he tells anyone that Steve is a part of Hydra now that he would have no choice but to hurt him and since Bucky is so sick and tired of being hurt, he submits like an obedient child to Steve's threat. But Steve’s already hurting him anyway because Steve is Hydra now and Bucky is helpless in the hands of Hydra just as much as he is helpless in the hands of his husband. 


	2. Damaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on my phone since my laptop finally committed sepukku so sorry for any/all typos, mistakes, and grammar problems.

Bucky's eyes slowly blink open as he takes in his surroundings. It's morning, early, and he's mostly naked in bed, and with Steve. He can feel Steve's warm breath against the back of his neck and his strong arms wrapped tightly around his waist, holding Bucky close. 

Memories from last night start to flood through Bucky's mind and those memories constrict his heart into a chokehold, wringing out the blood from the organ as he remembers what happened. 

Bucky sought comfort in Steve last night despite now knowing his husband has been willingly working for Hydra ever since he was recovered from the arctic all those years ago.

And during the night, exceedingly high emotion and and even higher tensions ran between them, and then one thing led to another and suddenly Steve's lips were on Bucky's, capturing him in a possessive kiss. Angry and terrified, Bucky fought against Steve's grip, but he still found himself slipping through the cracks and giving into the pleasure. And as Bucky gave up the stuggle the two then found themselves stumbling through the hallway and into their bedroom. 

The lingering feeling of Steve's lips on his own makes Bucky's stomach roll with self disgust and he feels the sudden urge to make a run towards the bathroom.

But he swallows down the sickening feeling in his stomach and continues to lay in bed with his bare back pressed against Steve's warm chest. 

Time passes as Bucky stares out in front of the white wall in front of him, counting the bumpy ridges in the paint, eyes dancing from corner to corner while he keeps his breathing steady. It's not the most glorious way to spend his morning, but Bucky's not about to disturb Steve, not when he has a mission coming up and needs his rest. 

Bucky wonders if the mission is a Hydra mission or a standard Avengers mission. 

Bucky also wonders if any of the Avengers know about Steve too and if they are also being threatened by him into not telling anyone. 

He prays his friends don't know about Steve or know about Hydra still running deep within the sanctions of S.H.I.E.D. 

Bucky wants this burden to be his own. 

Steve's arms suddenly let up their grip around his body and Bucky can now hear the sound of Steve's breathing changing as he begins to wake up. 

A pair of hands slip their way past the elastic of Bucky's briefs and sends chills down his spine. But he doesn't react, hoping that Steve still thinks that he is still asleep. 

Steve moans as he presses a kiss against the back of Bucky's neck. His hands then leave their place on Bucky's ass and they engulf Bucky's waist once more. Steve squeezes him gently in a hug and Bucky keeps himself still and his breathing slow, even though he'd rather scream and punch Steve away from him instead. 

"I knew you'd understand." Steve says into his ear, making Bucky's heart beat speed up. 

But he doesn't respond to Steve though, he can't seem to make his mouth work.

However, if Bucky were able to speak, he'd yell at Steve to let him go and tell him he doesn't understand a damn thing. But then he'd fall to his knees, crying at Steve's feet, begging him to leave Hydra and destroy them once and for all. Because as much as Bucky hates Steve now Bucky's hatred and Steve's betrayal mean nothing compared to how much Bucky still loves and trusts Steve.

But that love and trust is still shattered down the middle, barely being held together by the tattered remains of their vows. 

_Until the end of the line._

Bucky feels Steve remove himself from his body once more and then feels the bed shift as Steve sits himself up so that he's looking down onto Bucky's figure. 

"I love you Buck, so much." 

And despite everything he's learned, Bucky can still hear the sincerity in Steve's voice. 

Steve yawns and the bed bounces as his weight leaves it. He takes a moment to stretch his body before heading towards the bathroom, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. 

"I love you too Steve." Bucky then replies to the empty room as the white walls begin to surround him, blinding him from the reality that Steve is no longer who he claims to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since a couple people wanted a continuation of this story, I have decided, by popular demand, to continue this!  
> Also this is going to be story of Bucky's marriage with Steve now that he knows the truth and how he's handling being with him.  
> SO HEED THE TAGS! There will be some bad shit here cause Bucky's so not having a good time.  
> Enjoy!


	3. He's Hurting Me

Steve has been out on official Avengers business for the past week and is due to come home any moment now.

During Steve’s absence; Bucky debated exposing Steve, exposing Hydra, and freeing himself from them both. But he stopped himself, unsure with just how far Steve and Hydra’s influence has reached.

He wonders just how many of the other Avengers know and are willing participates in Hydra’s plan to make the world a “better” place? But Bucky also wonders how many of them are as unwilling as him, fearful of Steve’s wrath should they come clean to anyone willing to stop Hydra once and for all.

But Zola’s words echo in the depths of Bucky’s mind.

_Cut off one head and two more takes its place._

So maybe it is for the best that this Hydra is the one to stick around since it is being run by Steve, who at least was once a good person.

Bucky wonders if JARVIS knows, he wonders if Steve has protocols installed to keep JARVIS from eavesdropping and keeps him from telling Tony. Bucky wonders if Tony knows.

He contemplates asking JARVIS these things but decides against it. He doesn’t want any attention brought to himself. Because if JARVIS knows and is helping Steve than he’ll tell Steve and Bucky could get into trouble for sticking his nose where it ought not to be.

Steve’s threatened his life, like Bucky has anything to live for now that his husband works for the very same organization that tortured him for 70 years. And yet, Bucky still finds himself afraid of the threats and would rather stay silent than be hurt again.

Bucky spends his week alone wandering through his private quarters. He hasn’t bothered to leave and since he already isn’t on friendly terms with any of the Avengers, he has no one he could go visit if he even wanted to. And this loneliness makes a part of him miss Steve.

Bucky tries to keep busy though, he goes through the motion of waking up, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, watching television, cleaning up the house, reading or browsing the internet, eating lunch, doing a project—either scrapbooking or baking—taking a power nap, making dinner, cleaning up, watching television, and then going to bed. He functions like a domestic robot and works through the motion of his day not even bothering to step out of line.

If he weren’t so comfortable, he would feel trapped. A prisoner in his own home.

But Steve doesn’t treat him like a prisoner. He still treats him like a human being, like his husband, someone whom he loves and cherishes with every bone in his body. However, Steve’s—for the lack of a better word—attitude towards Bucky has changed since he found out about Steve’s relationship with Hydra. He’s more on edge, always watching Bucky for any sign of a slip-up, and he’s much more affectionate like his love is any consolation for the horror he’s putting Bucky through.

Bucky goes to bed earlier than usual when Steve isn’t home, so it’s no surprise that he wakes up at 4 AM when Steve comes home exhausted and smelling of death.

“Why are you still awake? It’s late.” Steve says as he slips into the room.

Bucky sits up, plants his feet on the floor and looks up at Steve. His suit is covered in dark red stains, and Bucky concludes that those stains are blood, but they are not Steve’s blood, those stains belong to someone else.

“Buck?” Steve’s voice is soft as he comes closer. “Please don’t cry, I’m okay.” He says, bloodied glove coming up to cup his cheek.

Bucky doesn’t even register that he’s crying until after Steve tells him he is. He lifts his hand, wipes the tears rolling down the side of his face that Steve isn’t holding and sniffles quietly.

“I’m not hurt, I swear,” Steve says with a smile. “The blood’s not mine.”

And it hits Bucky like a freight train that the reason he’s crying isn’t because he thinks the blood on his suit belongs to Steve’s, but because the blood isn’t Steve’s blood and instead belongs to some poor unfortunate soul.

Bucky shakes Steve away from him and huddles himself against the headboard, knees tucked up against his chest as he peers over the bed at Steve.

Steve looks hurt that Bucky shied away from him, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he strips out of his costume and places the foul-smelling material into the hamper across the bedroom. He then takes off the under armor and puts that in the hamper as well.

“Not going to ask me how my week went?” Steve chuckles, attempting to make small talk.

Bucky hides his gaze, averting his eyes from Steve’s and focuses on the dark corner of the bedroom, wishing he’d stayed asleep so he wouldn’t have to talk to Steve right now.

“I’m worried about you Bucky, you’ve been so distant, so spacey, I just hope that you’re doing okay.”

Bucky can hear the concern in Steve’s tone and almost hates him for it. He’s acting like there’s nothing the matter between them like everything is fine when he knows it’s not. Or at least, he should know. It’s been nearly a month since Bucky found out everything and yet Steve treats him like a forgetful and easy forgiving pet, whose paw he’s stepped on and since Bucky’s still sleeping in his bed, he thinks everything is okay.

“Please say something Buck, it’s been weeks since I’ve heard more than a couple of words from you.”

And Bucky doesn’t know if it’s the anger bubbling in his gut boiling over or the fact he’s disgusted in himself for, having for a fraction of a second, missed Steve this past week, that makes him speak, but Bucky talks, more than he has in a while.

“You told me that I wouldn’t want to know why you joined Hydra, that I wouldn’t be able to handle the answer. But you can’t just keep me in the dark forever.” Bucky says. “I’m so angry and so hurt, but I have to know, Steve, you have to tell me.”

It Steve’s turn to stay silent now and Bucky huffs in annoyances and throws himself off the bed, backing Steve against the wall.

Bucky punches his metal fist through the drywall, missing Steve by a hair when he does.

“Tell me! Please!” He begs, heavy, ugly tears rolling down his cheeks.

“No Bucky,” Steve says, his hand wrapping around Bucky’s metal wrist, pulling his fist out from the wall, and holding it tight in his grip. “That’s not something you need to know, okay, just, can’t we move on? You know now and so everything can go back to before, just without all the secrecy from my end.”

“You really think I can just move on?” Bucky laughs in disbelief, soon turning into laughs of hysteria. “For all I know you could be trying to turn me back into the Asset!” He cries. “You’re trying to dominate the world, run it how you see fit since you don’t believe regular people are capable of governing themselves huh?” Bucky asks, feeling a sudden sense of déjà vu.

Suddenly, Bucky realizes why it’s all so familiar.

“You’re no better than Pierce.” He spits out those last words with venom because he can see the similarities now. Not just in ideology but in personality. Hell, even their physical traits are similar.

But Steve’s eyes grow dark at the accusation and Bucky can’t even react before Steve’s other hand comes up, punching him square in the face.

Bucky falls back but stays held in Steve’s tight grip. He struggles against Steve’s hand but his resistance earns himself a kick to the knee, causing him to stumble back once more.

“I am NOTHING like Alexander Pierce!” Steve shouts, hitting Bucky in the jaw. “I am a far better leader,” he punches him in the stomach next, “a far better soldier,” he jabs his elbow into Bucky’s sternum, “and a far better man than he ever was!”

Bucky doesn’t have the chance to block Steve’s next attack nor does he have a chance to speak when suddenly Steve’s hand shoots out and grabs him by the neck, pulling Bucky closer, body flushed against his own.

“I hate having to discipline you,” Steve says against Bucky’s ear.

His hold around Bucky’s throat is tight, it restricts his breathing and makes a desperate panic erupt inside him, causing him to lose air faster than if he were calmer.

Steve’s going to kill him.

As the air slowly runs out, his lungs burn and ache, pleading for oxygen, and when Bucky thinks that this is it, that he’s finally going to die, Steve’s hand loosens its hold around his neck and he releases him, slowly so that he falls back against the mattress, breathless and gasping for air like a dying fish.

Steve sighs, placing his hands on his hips, shaking his head in frustration.

“But you have to know, baby, I would never hurt you like that bastard did.” He states, like the previous actions just a couple minutes didn’t happen. “You are safe here with me,” Steve tells him, “you’re my everything Bucky and I’m hurt to know you think I am anything like Pierce.” His voice hardens at the other man’s name. “I wouldn’t ever do the things he did to you, I told you already, if I had known you were with Hydra I would have gotten you out sooner.”

Tears blind Bucky from looking at Steve, who’s hovering over him like a predator would its prey.

“My faction of Hydra is good; it’s doing the job S.H.I.E.L.D should have done.” He tells him. “It’s like S.H.I.E.L.D just without all the damn hoops to jump through and like Pierce’s organization, just without the corruption the previous faction of Hydra had.”

Bucky wants to cry, scream at Steve and tell him that he is still no better than Pierce, but he holds his tongue, biting down on it until he tastes his own blood.

“Don’t you understand now Buck? I’m doing what needs to be done to make the world a better place.”

Bucky just shakes his head, sobbing as he stares up at the ceiling above him, not knowing what more to do. He feels so helpless.

Bucky then hears Steve sigh and feels him crawl onto the bed. Steve lifts Bucky like a rag doll and holds him gently in his arms, shushing him like a parent would a child, and stroking his hair in an attempt to calm him down.

“You’ll understand soon enough,” Steve says. “I love you.”

And once again, Bucky finds himself taking comfort in the arms of the same man who hurt him in the first place, because who else is he supposed to turn to?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt number 25 on Tumblr!


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